225, 226 De-evolution/development.

At this stage folks i am looking at the possibility of extreme levels of failure for these two classes this is 100% my fault i let my humanity alter my drive and ambition shifting my focus to the collapse of my 3 year relationship and because i am a rather deep felling type guy of which i am still suffering from as i write this post however i WILL  NOT let this buckle me i have the knowledge a require and this is not where this ends for me yes my humanity tells me i should feel ashamed or like a real failure even though these sensations are totally there and are potentially crippling (because of the existing issues +) I am not ready to give up at all i have fought too long and too hard for this to crush me if i have to i will do what ever it takes to get this blasted degree even if it takes me another two years or a full repeat of the course. (clearly not all of it) i failed two papers last year (2016) and am repeating them (2018) as well as the 2nd year stuff  I do need a serious break so i can re arrange myself in the manner i need to, to become the me that i came here to become. Effectively part of me is cracking and beginning to break and fall off while the rest of me is fighting to keep me upright.

ANIMATOR

Check list real quick:
1/Meditate For up to 3 hours on the consciousness i need to acquire in order to complete my vision.
2/create walls and a mask in order to feel less until the pre-requisites have been met.
3/ Develop myself in the same way i have been taught to develop the 3D characters via Maya
4/create a plan to develop the tools in order to survive all of the steps i need to take to get to the finish line.
5/Between the steps of 1 and 2 a meta physical break or breakdown may need to be appropriated so i have resources to work with in order to do the above it has come to my attention i will need stability externally like house hold living type structure system included. 
6/ I feel the strength building and rocking as time goes by the foundations are strengthening.